Make A Wish
Updated: Feb 9, 2019
When Oprah interviewed Tina Turner, she had a wish to ‘Just Be’. What is your wish? Have you taken time to know what you wish for? What “to be” means to me is each morning at 4:45 am to watch Super Soul Sunday, exercise and whatever else I wish to do for my time out. I cherish this quiet time “to be”. I was not always like this as a doer who is busy doing things, rushing to events and not taking time to breath. The more times you can take time out to get clarity, focused and ready for the next step in life whatever that is, the body, mind and soul will function better for you.
My wish today: Families to have the tools that can transform the struggles rather than transmit them.
“ If you don’t transform your suffering, you will transmit it” Richard Rohr. Listening to Oprah and Richard talking about the suffering in the world, I wish for transformation rather than transmitting.
When our family was struggling with the challenges in the family, it was stressful, chaotic and relief was not in sight. Having a quiet time just “to be” is not happening. At this time, I wanted to know what my purpose in life would be. Trying job after job was getting old and frustrating. I was wishing for something that had purpose and would make a difference. Then it happened. I walked into Chapters, the book appeared. I saw only this book, “Coach Yourself to Success”. I started reading this and couldn’t put it down. I was starting to see a little of me in the book. This couldn’t happen, could it? It did, this book was the first time I felt I found something that fit this innovative, creative, enthusiastic entrepreneurial spirit who was tired of trying to fit in a box. This led me to doing courses for four years by phone to be a coach. The ears were strengthened which was in time when our daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The skills I was learning were needed in the process such as how to listen, how to approach situations more effectively and how to manage my reactions.
Reading books, practicing what I was learning in coaching sessions and talking to others, I made a strong statement - “I will know what I will be doing for my life work by the time I am 50’. I was in my early 40’s at this time and had no idea what my life work for be.’ My wish came true. What was an adversity in our life, mental illness, was the gift of saving our family’s relationships. One point I want to say is this …. We didn’t not say it was a gift in the beginning of our journey, it was when we were seeing more results of what we were doing right rather than repeating the old habits that were not working.
This quote struck a cord with me “ We are addicted to the status quo and the past even though it is killing us” Richard Rohr
Are you stuck in the status quo and the past? Questions to answer:
· Is the family tip toeing to deal with pesky situations OR is the family taking the time to
hear and understand each other’s perspectives
· Is there constant conflict with no change in sight OR is the family being clear what is
felt and thought that leads to better conversation
· Is there more perceptions of what was said OR is the family being curious to ask
questions to be clear what is meant
If you said YES to the first section of each sentence, it is not working for any family member. If you said YES to the second section of each sentence, it is working because there is more honesty.
In the beginning, my wish was to have a better relationship with my daughter. The only way this wish was going to happen, was I had to change my attitude. I had to look at myself to see what I could do different even if she didn’t change. What I had to change was the edge I always had in my voice, the frustration and find a better way to approach situations with more calmness. Even this little change made a difference. When I started changing, I watched how she was responding. If her response was better, I remembered what I did and did more of it. You have a choice – you can try it or stay stuck. It is up to you.
Question – What is your wish? What are you going to do to help your wish come true? What are you observing about others? What you decide to do is up to you.
What I wish for you is to have fun, enjoy the process and celebrate the wins.