Juno - Setting Boundaries
Juno is Chad and Heather’s (my son and daughter-in-law) dog who sets his own boundaries. Wow, if Juno can set boundaries, you can do it too. You may remember the article, “Walking the Dog,” it was about Juno. When Chad told Ted and I about how he was setting his boundaries, we howled with laughter!! Juno apparently likes to have his walk in the morning. There are times it doesn’t happen so they let him out to go to the bathroom in the dog run. Well, he wouldn’t go so he would ask to get out over and over again by hitting his paw on the doorstop. So they would let him out, however he would not go. Juno wanted to go for a walk and he was not going to the bathroom till he went for a walk. There are times they can’t take him for a walk so they try to encourage him to do his business with the intention of a walk later. They have tried several things to change his mind. Nope, not happening! I want my walk or no go! LITTERALLY NO GO! This is a work in progress and so far Juno is winning. How are you with your boundaries?
Juno is clear and concise about what he will do and not do. He follows through with what he will do and not budge. He looks them in the eye with confidence when they are trying to get him to change his mind – it is not happening. He knows what he wants, so the choice is in their hands how they will handle the situation. His body language tells it all; he sits with confidence waiting for them to take him for a walk. I will be signing Juno up for showing those who struggle with boundaries how to do it. When there are clear boundaries, you are clear, concise and it is up to the others how they decide to respond to it.
If someone gets upset because you stick to your boundaries, it is up to them what they choose to do. Being clear, concise and consistent tells others what you will tolerate or not tolerate. It doesn’t bother Juno if others get upset, he keeps to his plan of action. He moves on with this life with no guilt – I am not going pee until they take me for a walk.
Setting boundaries helps others to know what to expect if you are consistent with what you will do or not do. When you are wishy-washy with setting guidelines, it confuses them so they will continue to test you to see if you will stick to you what you say you will do or cave in. When you cave in to a boundary one time and then not another time, the message is you will likely not stick to your boundary when you are pressured. Juno was not giving in and he sat with confidence waiting for them to take him for a walk.
If Juno could talk, I can hear it now, “I am not going pee till you take me for a walk. I wish you would quit wasting time and just do it. Oh well, I will wait it out.”
If a dog can set boundaries, you can do it to. Consistency and clarity brings structure to difficult situations.