• Mona Cooley

What is Your Story?

What is your story? What changes do you want to change? If you are feeling devastated, hopeless, you can change your story to what you want. It is up to you. You can’t change others but you can change how you approach it and others may change because you changed.

What IS YOUR story? Everyone has one whether is about happy times, bad times, traumatizing times or hopeful times. Everyone has a story. Judging can happen. Do you have a thought or two or perceptions of what you think the story is? Be honest! Assumptions can be made of what is thought to be happening with others. I am no exception. What I will say is this. Since out family has gone through mental health issues, listening to people’s stories of struggle and success and observing the reaction to situations has me more understanding. What is important is EVERYONE has a story. When I was working in the homeless sector, I learned so much from those you were severely ill and some of their journeys had me ask “how the hell did they get through their struggles? What did I learn? Don’t judge until you hear them and take time to understand who they are. Tools are needed however…….

You do the best you can with the tools you have at the time.

Tools, what a concept to have tools that could possibly make difference to a situation. I could strike with harsh words at times which is humbling but I am grateful today I have better tools to handle pesky nuances. Bless my children for mustering through the rough patches of my ineptness.

I am glad I have changed my story from the path of destruction to path of compassion and understanding.

If you don’t like your story, what are you going to do about it? What tools do you need? What to do? Reach out for help and learn from those who worked thru their struggles.

What counts is making the effort. A participant’s daughter told her mom she appreciated how she was making-an effort whereas it was noticed an effort was not happening with others. Kids are wise and don’t underestimate them, they notice more than you know.

It is not what you say, it is what you do. This a CLUE for you. What you show others tells you more than the words you say.

Now it is your turn to decide what part of your story do you want to change. What you change is up to you. When you change watch how others are responding.

For example: I have a voice that can be loud and can get louder when I get excited about something. I have had my husband lower his hands to indicate I need to lower my voice. I had to learn how to lower my voice, slow my pace when any family member or others who were emotionally charged. Being cool, calm calms others who are highly excited. Positive results happen such as resolving issues calmly rather than yelling at each other. I have understood I do laugh loud, oh well that isn’t changing!!

What is your story? What changes do you want to change? If you are feeling devasted, hopeless, you can change your story to what you want. It is up to you. You can’t change others but you can change how you approach it and others may change because you changed.

Get started doing this: Approach situations with calmness, be open to hearing what is said, reflect back what you heard and ask them “Did I understand you?


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