Dam those pesky nuances!
Approaching difficult family life situations with courage and endurance is what it takes to move thru pesky nuances and troubles. Tell me… who do you know that doesn’t have troubles? You may not know who does or doesn’t because sometimes what shows on the outside isn’t what is in the inside. It takes one to know one. With 70 years under my belt, I have shown confidence when inside wanted to throw up. I have shown happiness when inside was hurting with painful situations. But, I have shown and expressed my anger, frustration which my inside can not hold any more. I have yelled and screamed when I was at my wits end to know what to do with situations that keep knocking on my door. I am not proud of these moments but knowing how to handle situations with a better approach took time.
Taking action and doing something about difficult situations, takes endurance to work through pesky nuances. I still have my “pity party” and out burst moments. Ask my husband, when he hears muttering then bursting out with hands waving and body language telling him I am dam well not happy. By the way it has nothing to do with him, it is usually when I don’t have control of a situation. Bless his heart for his willingness to listen, let me have my moment so we both can move on. Being married to me for 50 years, he knows the signs when it is best to listen and when to talk later. Later, when I have calmed down, he has me laughing at myself.
Have the COURAGE to try new ideas and see what it does for you. ENDURING the process of trying something that has worked for others can provide you with a coping strategy. Give it a whirl and pay attention how the inside is doing. Also, be aware of what others notice about you. They may say….something is different about you. Here you go for a strategy!!
· Have a “pity party” moment ( 5-15 minutes) when life is stressing you out. The Inside
will be relieved of the stress.
· When venting, tell the one who is listening you want to be heard not fixed. They will be
relieved to hear what to do.
· Pity Party time can clear the mind so it can find a solution or direction to change what
is not working for you.
· Ask yourself, what is the reason I am so ticked at this situation – don’t be surprised you
find you do not feel you have control of the situation
· Ah, being in control – decide what part you can control let go of what you can not
control. Energy focused on what can control.
· Humor – laugh at yourself. My husband can challenge me with my pity party moment
and have me laughing. ( note he does this later when I have calmed down)
· Participants in our sessions, have tried and found it has helped. They moved on, found
relief instead of whirling it over and over in their head.
In my teen years, early years of marriage, I held a lot of feelings and thoughts inside which did not change my situations. If others don’t know what you are feeling or thinking but they do notice you are not yourself. How do you expect them able to support you? Who is one person you trust to express what you are feeling and thinking? Ask them if they would be willing to hear you vent for 5 minutes and only listen. If you want some feedback or ideas for consideration, tell them this is what you want. It is still up to you to do what you want to do with the information, you are in control.
Having the COURAGE trying new ways, ENDURANCE to move forward through the pesky nuances and troubles strengthens you. Bonus, you have a coping strategy in your hip pocket that has you feeling in control of those pesky nuances. Remember the Outside of you tells what is happening Inside of you. You are not fooling others.
Courage and Endurance can get you through those pesky nuances and troubles. Have a “Pity Party”, a coping strategy to have you smiling.
